I’m pleased to add this story provided by a babywearing dad. We think it’s a great example of some of the reasons that Dads don’t want to get involved with babywearing, and hopefully it will provide you with something to point your reluctant other half or daddy friends at in case they need any persuading!
I’m a fairly traditional chap, and when son #1 arrived I had a fairly traditional idea of what was involved
Cot … check
Clothes … check
Pram … check
Replica football shirt … check
A baby sling didn’t feature anywhere on my list (Thinking back I’m fairly sure I’d never even heard of the phrase before).
Having an older sister who already had two children we inherited a bunch of bits and bobs, one of which was a fairly standard Baby Bjorn carrier. When we jetted off to the US ten weeks later it was an obvious item for the trip. That said, it was hardly used, little one was easy enough to carry – especially for a big strong bloke like me!
When we returned from holiday the carrier was resigned to the back of the cupboard, and the pram was the transport of choice. Simple, convenient, and besides – we’d spent 400-odd pounds on it and I’m big on value-for-money.
Son #2 arrived just under 2 years later, and 8 months after that we were off on holiday again. After a few days of carrying the (Rather clingy) 8-month old around the hills, and rugged streets of France, my wife gave a sling a try and it turned out to be a god-send (We didn’t take a carrier of our own – but our sister-in-law lent us a mei-tai baby sling).
When my arms got tired from carrying him (About 5 minutes in – I’m pathetic I know!), she would strap him on and off we’d go – tricky little lanes were a breeze, and forest tracks were a doddle. We got to see so many places that would have been completely impractical with a pushchair.
I, of course, being a beer-swilling, football watching, manly-man didn’t touch the sling at all, preferring to struggle along swapping arms every ten minutes to spread the strain rather than “look like a bit of a tree-hugger”.
My wife, of course, immediately saw the advantages (Did I mention that son #2 was a bit clingy and son #1 was toddling around like a man on a mission?) and set about fashioning her own sling for around the house, and when out and about so she could carry #2 and still get stuff done.
I, on the other hand, was still resolutely a pushchair kind of guy – after all I could always carry him if needs be – right? Well, time for a confession … I’m not even as manly as I perhaps made out (Apart from the beer-swilling – that bit is entirely true), and carrying a child in your arms for any length of time, especially when they get 6 months plus and wriggle constantly is actually quite hard work.
So, the next summer came around, and we were off again. This time we stuck to the UK, but with two children there was little space left in the boot for the pushchair once we’d got various toys, books, cuddly toys, clothes, nappies, etc wedged in. “No worries” piped the wife, “we’ll just take the sling”.
Hmmmm…
Not being in much of a position to argue, off we set. At this point Son #1 was almost 3 and a half and generally pretty good at walking, and son #2 was 18 months old and walking for short distances. If it was flat, and there were no distractions, if he felt like it, and if luck was on your side.
In short, I was looking at two weeks of him wriggling in my arms, or on my shoulders and the associated neck ache that comes with it.
A few days in, having struggled to navigate shops, and events with #2 careering off into the distance in pursuit of a “big dog daddy look!” out came the sling. We were actually off that day to the Bristol Balloon Fiesta – a great event, that is hosted in a park.
A park in England … in the good old British summer. It was wet. Very wet.
Less a park, more a mud-field… and the car park was helpfully about a mile away, up what I swear was a 90 degree muddy slope.
So, on went the sling, and I felt like Saul on the road to Damascus.
Considering how heavy he was to carry normally, and how much he wriggled, the sling truly was a revelation – I could hardly tell he was there. Apart, that is, that I got to talk to him; all day we chattered, we watched the Red Arrows fly overhead together, pulled silly faces at each other, and sniffed out the doughnut stand together.
From that point on the sling was a firm favourite as I got to go out wherever we fancied without worrying about whether a pushchair would make it up the track, or whether my arms would drop off! The best bit, however was the time we spent together that would otherwise have been completely missed out on with a pushchair in the way.
My only regret about babywearing is that I didn’t put aside my macho pretences and try it sooner!
Lee is a dad to two boys. He is married to Claire who, after discovering babywearing, launched her own business making her own brand of mei tai carriers, which she now sells through her website, http://www.snugbaby.co.uk/
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